Things that we should have invested in

Any sleep-deprived parents will do whatever and spend however, just to get the baby ( and parents) to sleep softly (see... I'm not even mentioning sleeping through the night).

There are several items we teased about their functionalities when I first stumbled upon them during online shopping.  Soon after the arrival of Peanut, the foolish us realised how much we wished these items were just within our reach.

1. Moses Basket.

First, we frowned at its heavy weight with baby in it. Secondly, it only lasts for less than four months which we felt it was not worthwhile.  

FACT:   As long as you get the crying baby sleep at night, you will drop to floor on knee and say haleluyah.  The cushion in Moses Basket allows baby to snug comfortably as if green peas in their pods.  Lying Peanut down (on bouncer or bed) was already a challenging mentally (fear of waking baby up) and physically (depend on how well you can bend at strange angle), not to mention placing the pillows, cushions, pillow, you name it around strategically to resemble our cuddle.  Moses Basket will do the job perfectly.

2. Anti-slip Pillow
Our jaw dropped when we scrolled to this item in Taobao.

FACT:  It freaked us out everytime during the midnight feed. We were afraid Peanut choked himself. We were equally afraid to wake Peanut up whenever we attempted to burp him.

3.  One-piece sleepsuits
I was trying to be a thrifty mum by relying solely in hand-me-down sleepsuits .

FACT: One-piece does wonder when you are afraid to break the little, fragile joints and at the same time you are trying to speed through the changing process before baby cries a big time. I eventually bought a few second-hands as Peanut outgrew the hand-me-down suit.

4. A big pillow.
Why needs a big pillow?

FACT: There are times you need to lie baby on bed. As their curiosity grows, staring the blank ceiling becomes a boring chore. By popping baby up on bed, allows them to watch the surrounding from a different angle. Plus, they can WATCH u as you sing/play/ dance/ tell story.

5. IKEA play gym
Isnt the play gym better? It has more toys.

FACT: Again. There are times you need to place baby on bed and let them play on their own. It is when this comes handy.  Some can even be adjusted to different angle so baby can play while leaning against the pillow. Moreover, it is smaller and convenient to carry on-the-go q

Hm... the list was long when i first started thia post. However they seem to slip out of my mind as i compose.

Shall return here if i recall anything.

Update: Aug 7, 2019. 

In hindsight, I would have done otherwise.

#1. NEVER allow nanny to walk, rock and pat baby when putting baby to sleep.  If these soothing techniques are required, please get nanny to stand still and lie baby on bed once baby stops crying.  Lie them on bed awake but drowsy.  Keep repeating this cycle so baby won't get used to it.



#2. SWADDLE baby during naptime and bedtime until the moro reflex disappears.  Most babies feel safe in swaddle. Moreover, babies won't be awaken by their moro reflex easily.  Rest assure baby will continue to snug comfortably in swaddle as we bend over to lie them down on bed.

Peanut seemed resentful when we attempted to swaddle him.  Only then I realised it was because the swaddle was too loose.  It has to be tight enough yet not restricting his breathing.

BONUS: Save your money on Sarong/buaian.

TIPS: Check out how hospital nurse swaddle babies.



#3. Since I would be taking care of baby alone at home, I should have started to train/learn to wear baby either in SLING OR CARRER as early as possible, so that I can wear him while doing housechores. 

Peanut has now reached a weight and length which is too heavy and inconvenient for me to wear him in front with sling and BOBA wrap.   We have just started to wear him with Ergo carrier.  He is fine when we bring him out (partly because he is distracted by the interesting and colourful outside world). 

However, he has yet to learn to sleep in it. During one of the busy afternoon shopping days, we were so heartbreaking seeing the drowsy and tearful Peanut remain still and pity, slouching in the carrier.  He refused to sleep until CJ took him out and cuddled him to sleep.



#4. BEDSIDE CRIB.  I strong encourage this if you have an insecured baby and sensitive parents.  Neither we want to disturb baby's sleep, nor our sleep quality. I haven't bought one yet, but I suppose that will be the answer for our sanity.

At first, Peanut slept in between us.  CJ did help alot when came to frequent diaper change or soothing during midnight wake.  However, as Peanut grows, I am the one waking up most of the time.  Naturally, it is more sensible to have a crib for Peanut to sleep separately on my side.

Haha... At first we were so ambitious wanting Peanut to sleep separately... in a separate room.  Now, it seems like a unrealistic dream.

2As: Amusing and Absurd

Absurd questions thrown to me: 

1. How much milk are you feeding baby? 
🙉Even upon knowing I'm fully breastfeeding baby and rarely bottle-feed baby.

2. Follow-up: You can "agak-agak" the quantity by feeling the fullness of breast, can't you?
🙈roll-eye question. 

3. Have you considered feeding baby milk powder, so that he gets sufficient protein?
🙉He is just 4-month-old. Plus, his weight, height and BMI are well along the fitness range.

4. Is he hungry?  I think he is hungry.  (repeat several times in half an hour OR repeat whenever we meet OR the moment hear/see baby crying)
🙊😂Whoa. Please teach me how to decode baby language, without touching him.   He was not crying madly with tears.  Moreover, I have just fed him.

5.  Is he dehydrated?  He pees alot (without asking me how many change of diapers daily OR the well-being of baby)
🙊I'm lost here. I don't get the logic of this.

6. WHAT DOES HE WANT? WHY IS HE CRYING?
🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉
HATE this most. I'm a first-time mom. I don't always know what baby needs and I don't decode baby language.  Meanwhile I'm also making a note in mind, to remind myself not to utter this on other mothers.

7. He is going to cry! Oh no! He is crying already! Baby! Mummy is coming, don't cry (standing and telling baby from a distance away)
🙈Can't you see I'm busy with chores?  You are his family member too.  Can you help to soothe baby while I wrap things up please?  


8. Why do you have migraine? You were just staying at home and taking care of baby?
🙊Yeah, right!  Try taking care of baby the whole day under this weather.

Updated: 3 July 2019

Never forget to exercise though pregnant

"You'd better dont' exercise ah".

"Oh! no. You cant carry this".

"Please reconsider your hiking plan".

"You can walk with uncle in the park, but no jog".

"Please assure Shiuan does not jog".

It seems that getting pregnant means rotting at home for the following 10 months.

Being my best friend, Google said it is entirely safe to jog based on the pregnant woman's condition (yeah man! I don't jog on daily basis but I keep it as a weekly habit); doing moderate intensity weighing training with 3.6kg weight or less each dumbell (mine falls under the safe range of 1.5kg).

Having said that, since it is my firsts pregnancy and still within the first trimester and most importantly, the baby is also Mr. Tan and family's son and grandchild, I do better take extra caution.

Doctor once joked spotting doesn't necessary indicate miscarriage; however, it is small enough to trigger fear in pregnant woman.

Therefore, I have stopped jogging, partially because I don't want Crystal and Frowny dogging me to the park.  Moreover, I have ditched my longing Bromo and Ijen Crater hiking trip. I almost gave out my 10-year-old dumbbells until I came across the articles that pregnant woman can still practice weighing training with safety precautions.

Right. I am a lazy bum in exercise.  I don't workout regularly like other woman of my age.  Never have I hit a gym before.  But, there are some home exercise I will remind or rather force myself to do in order to maintain in shape.

Getting pregnant has even set as a stronger reminder for me to keep up with the ideal exercise routine - at least three times a week and each 30 minutes the least.

i now WALK in the park, practice prenatal yoga, resume my before-sleep routine (stretching, chanting and meditation) and will continue with my weighing training.  I hope the list will grow longer soon.

I believe appropriate force in the beginning stage is required to start a routine or habit.

Turning into a Woman

Being a food lover, deciding to have a home-cooked meal or eating out or where to eat have never been a dilemma for me. Now, apart from breakfast, thinking what and where to have lunch and dinner take me more than 10 minutes or more. Simply because, I just can't bring myself to eat chinese food, dairy, creamy, greasy and smoky food. At times, my mood swing affects my appetite.

The week before last, I could slowly finish up the thin tuna sandwiches I made myself and snack on fresh cherry tomatoes, cut capsicum and lettuce, after days of eating Western/mamak cuisine.  Towards the end of last week, I had Vietnamese cuisine for two days in a row.  This week, when sister happily brought me cans of tuna, I politely returned all to her as these food has made me sick again.  The menu of the week has switched to something drier - baked potatoes, plain thin porridge and plain dessert soup.

On good days, I would have nasi lemak for breakfast or wanton noodle soup for lunch, though it took me about one hour to finish a potion.

When my mood swing comes, I am grateful that the people surrounded me tolerate my temper and allow me to eat whatever I feel like at that moment.

Safe food ( I have tested them for two weeks)
1. Nasi lemak with sweet and spicy sambal, only for breakfast.  Yes, suprisingly, I can now take spicy food.

2. Curry bihun, only for dinner. I guess this only applies to homecooked dish as my uncle customises the dish for me.

3. Salinated crackers.  Peanut butter cracker is by far the flavoured biscuit I am able to take in.  I have stocked up five packets of biscuits. They are my life-savers when I have to get up to eat every two hours.

4. Granola bar.

5. Trail mix, with savoury dried fruits.

6. Fresh fruit and vege. Healthy food that I try to remind myself to snack on when I am still slightly full.  Eating them an hour after food will turn my stomach upside down.

7. Oh! how could I leave this out?  CJ once commented I should ask for a membership card.  Subway has suddenly topped my favourite all-day food list.  Having said that, since I try to reduce my consumption of processed food, there seems to be a limited choices available.

8. Protein powder. A substitution of daily products.

The experiment continues as I adapt to my new hormonal change.  Let's hope it gets better.

I shall also remind myself to be grateful everyday, as that is the positive energy and attitude I would like to instill to my little one.

→→I'm grateful...
Father dumped his usual way of cooking and made me a thin porridge for dinner.
Uncle cooked a decent, simple vegetarian curry bihun for dinner.
Cousin made baked potato with tomato mushroom sauce for supper, after knowing about my crave.

刨报纸

悠长假期，除了用了整一天时间泡书市，其他时间都用来做零碎的事情，零散到不努力想都忘记了。 可是，为了安慰自己其实没颓废五天长假和训练脑力，一直逼自己回想自己这几天的业绩。

不是与朋友聚餐、与猫猫玩耍、看电影、收拾房间、做加央，就是在hea和我最奢望的看书和刨报纸了。

小时候，每早，总看到头发斑白的公公倚在屋前的高木桌到后来的客厅的 矮藤桌，花一两个小时，摊开报章放在桌面，左手肘放在桌边，右手持放大镜，把上身倾向桌面，右眼透过放大镜阅读报章。早期过番来南洋的公公最关心的莫过于中国新闻了。

看来这早晨习惯也遗传给孙女了。

刨报纸的程序先由大版头条新闻开始，然后直接大都会头条，再跳去娱乐版，略读完娱乐版后，

就开始翻回大版头条新闻详情，接着从报章第一页阅读至最后一页。自小的习惯就是把一些新闻念出来。不知为何，但感觉上念了几则新闻就好像做了几个新闻功课。

看完头版，便刨副刊。副刊犹如小时的知识报，小小的一份却像ten course meal， 每一页层现出来的菜色五花八门，却不离报刊的主题。我长一边看一边用手机拍照做记录或上网寻找详情。

最后，则是财经版和大都会了。

体育版我就略过了，除非有世界级的运动进行中。

坐在沙发上，边看报纸边喝咖啡或热茶是如此的开心。哎！开始有点老年人的形态了。

您在我心中

若不是神台旁摆放着妈妈的照片，我担心妈妈的模样已经在我脑海里逐渐模糊。
我记得。。。

幼稚园或更小的时候，未认字的时候，妈和我在炎热的下午倚坐在衣橱和木床间朗读唐诗。白日依山尽，黄河入海流。。。锄禾日当午，汗滴禾下土。。。慈母手中线，游子身上衣。。。 我不认得字，但咿咿呀呀地跟着妈妈念。

幼稚园的时候，有次吃午饭。我不舒服，坐在饭桌旁。妈妈忙碌地在厨房进进出出。乘了一碗淋了生抽的生熟蛋喂我吃。怎知肠胃不争气，反吐到满地都是。妈妈没有责骂，反而着急地收拾残局。

妈妈生病进医院了。大家神色不好， 我也跟着大伙去探望。到妈妈病房的那层楼时，护士姐姐拦截我说，妹妹你还小呢，你的身高未到我的柜台高度，不能进去。我就这样被截停在病楼外了。

妈妈在家里后房养病，好像是艾草的中药味弥漫着我小小的记忆，大家不让我到后边去，只能在客厅玩。

妈妈睡在灵柜里，很多朋友和邻居都来问候我们。每次有人在灵柜前鞠躬，我就被拉到席子上鞠躬回礼。长辈们都摸摸我的头说真可怜。

再长大些，识字后，才从妈妈的灵位上的刻字了解妈妈多些。

妈妈是在生日后的第三天走的，那年，她才45岁，我7岁。

妈妈不只在我生命中出现四天而已。 

妈妈曾存活过有我的世界里。长辈们都对死亡远而避之，甚至不谈。

家长生病，大人说不要让小孩靠近，不然也会被感染，或者惹到不干净的东西。

我想妈妈当时多么的痛苦，深受病魔的折磨，加上对孩子的思念。

哪怕是个拥抱都可以让孩子留下对妈妈最后的美好回忆吧！

长大了，长辈不让我身穿妈妈的晚装出门，因为不吉利。我极力防抗，但后来想起妈妈也应该不要我为这事与夫家翻脸。

妈妈法力无边，她在天上观礼，祝福我们呢！